Inside: Kids can learn how to pack their own school lunch by using this free lunchbox list. Discover the benefits of kids doing this life skill on their own and tips on how to teach it. 
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Getting ready for a new school year is always exciting! Back to school shopping to get new clothes and shoes, pencils, notebooks, and maybe even a new backpack. Or if you have a child who goes to a non-traditional school like my son, a yoga mat and work gloves may be on the back-to-school supply list.
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The anticipation builds in those last few days of break until it hits me…. 
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School lunches!
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For some reason, I dread packing school lunches. I have no idea why because when I’ve timed how long it takes, it’s only 10 minutes or less activity. I dug a little deeper to discover why this is drudgery for me. I figured out that I never know what to pack, and my kids often come home with almost a full lunch or tell me they gave their food to a friend. Thoughts like, “What’s the point?” or “Why do I even pack a lunch if they’re not going to eat it anyways?” start to fill my mind.
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Then I’m reminded that my kids can’t learn if their brains and bodies run low on fuel. 
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Here’s the epiphany I had where I realized these two things: 

1. My kids are FULLY capable of choosing what they want to eat.
2. My kids are FULLY capable of packing the lunch themselves or helping me pack their lunch.
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To ensure even less fuss from all parties involved, I created a poster that includes every food item I could think of that can easily be taken to school and kept cold with a few ice packs.
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This took off so much pressure. Also, it put more responsibility on my kids, including having to clean out their lunch boxes when they got home so it was ready to be packed for the next day. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened one of those things and almost fell over from the smell of death! Ha!

The Easiest Way to Pack School Lunch

Parents often do what psychologists call over-functioning. Parent over-function for their kids by worrying too much about them or by not allowing their kids to do what they are perfectly able and capable of doing themselves. And we now know how damaging over-functioning is as kids become adults. Essentially, it sets kids up for failure.
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This doesn’t mean we leave them to the wolves or refuse to help in any way. As we know from clinical counselors who study attachment, like Dr. Deborah MacNamara is that our kids’ brains are wired to be in relationship with a caregiver. This includes getting guidance on how to accomplish tasks and having a strong support system through childhood and adolescence. 
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This is also connected to what Gordon Neufeld calls the hierarchical model of attachment. There are two instincts that drive attachment. The instinct that assumes responsibility guides a parent to provide for a child. On the flip side, the child’s instinct should be to seek and receive care. It doesn’t seem like this would have anything to do with packing lunch, but it can be applied here to ensure we keep a healthy dance when teaching kids to be responsible. 
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Read More: How You Can Help Your Kids Develop Life Skills

Why Kids Should Be Part of the Lunch Packing Process

Here are the many reasons why kids should be part of packing their own lunches. I have learned so much by giving this responsibility to my boys.
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Kids Will Learn How to Eat Healthy

I don’t know about you, but food affects my kids’ moods. Not just a little, but it affects whether or not we’re going to experience a stage five meltdown or be able to enjoy each other, and good choices are going to be made. My kids are neurodivergent, so some foods affect them negatively more than the average kid. This means we must pay close attention to what they put in their bodies.
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When I controlled what they ate, they ate well around me but made really poor choices when they were alone. It was related to wanting what they couldn’t have. To mitigate this, I have taken the time to educate my boys about healthy eating and why it’s important to eat healthy. We’ve done this in fun ways too! 
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By age 7, my boys learned a nutrition label and how to read one. My 6-year-old even knows how to discover if there are artificial dyes in food, even though he can’t read yet. I didn’t even teach him, but he knows the dyes don’t make him feel good, so he discovered a little trick himself! He looks for the numbers. He can also sound out most colors. 
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A great way to teach kids about a balanced diet is to have them pick out their food for school lunch. The lunch list I provide below is broken down into categories making this easy for any child.
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Kids Can Work On Life Skills

Statistics show this generation of kids entering adulthood is not ready. They don't have the life skills or motivation to live on their own. 
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Childhood is a time for PRACTICE! Practice being nice, practice advocating for their needs, and practice doing things on their own. Starting kids early with simple things like packing school lunch every day will have lifelong benefits.
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Kids Can Have Autonomy Over What They Eat

This is a big one! We are all about self-determination theory around here which is all about human motivation. A big piece of the self-determination pie is autonomy. Something kids should have choice over is what they eat. Now, just with anything, this doesn’t mean they can eat hot dogs, Oreos and whipped cream all day, but it does mean they can have choice within the boundaries you provide. 
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Also, if kids pick what they are eating, there is no room for complaints. Do I need to repeat that one? No whining and complaining…sign me up! 
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Giving kids the autonomy to pack what they want for lunch can also broaden their palettes. My youngest is sensory-avoidant. Therefore, he has been quite picky until recently. I noticed that when I gave him options of what to pack for his own lunch, he picked things that he would have never eaten in the past. Slowly, he’s expanding his palette from only raw veggies and fruit to grains and other good nutritious food items. 
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My other son will literally eat anything. What we discovered with him packing his own lunch is what I like to call experimentation. He has found out what tastes good together. And what really shouldn’t be eaten together. He’s also the one, though, that gets overwhelmed by the idea of having to figure out what he wants to pack so he needs a little guidance. 
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Get Rid of the Power Struggles!

This is tied to expanding the palette. When kids have choice, even the pickiest eater may be more open to eating healthier foods simply because you’re not telling them that they have to. In this KindlED episode with Dr. NacNamara, we briefly talk about this counterwill. 
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Sometimes I reflect on what I get into power struggles with my kids over and realize there’s a better way. As long as my boys are eating and not turning into the Hulk, then I’m all for them picking out what foods to put in their own lunchboxes.
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If your kids get to pick their own food using a lunchbox list, they are more likely to eat it and like it. Because they decided what to pack, less food is (usually) wasted. So not only will you have fewer headaches, butyou will also save some money. Score! 
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4 Tips For Teaching Kids How To Pack School Lunch

Packing school lunch can feel like a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be. 
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We are strong believers in scaffolding when it comes to helping kids become independent. We need to support them in the ways we can with the intention of completely removing ourselves when they are developmentally ready. And come back to helping them when they ask, and we notice they need our support. 
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1. Discuss The New Responsibility

Before you start transitioning from being the sole lunch packer to packing lunch as a team, have a little talk with your son or daughter. Mention how they are ready for more responsibility. Talk about it in an exciting way. Make it fun. Incorporate play. Even as I type this, role play comes to mind as a great way to show how they are ready to be more like mom, dad, sister, brother, or someone else they look up to. 
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Don’t forget to be positive!
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"You get to do pack your own lunch now and pick what you want to eat!!!" Instead of, "I'm sick of packing your lunch and smelling your nasty lunch box, so it's all on you, kid." 
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I have to admit I have thought the latter on a few occasions, so I even told myself in a mirror just to get it out of my system. It totally worked! I reminded myself that speaking negatively about a task like this to my kids is not helpful in any way for either of us. 
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A great time to talk about their new responsibility is during a family meeting.
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2. Help Devise a Plan

Keep. It. Simple.
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Having a plan allows the child to know what the expectations are. Instead of telling your child how and when to pack, put the ball in their court. Let them lead the way while you facilitate the decisions. This is a great time to be the train conductor, gardener, or consultant.  Kaity explains that in this blog post, Make Teaching Fun Again. The more control your child feels he or she has, the more likely the new skill will turn into a habit!

The Time and Days Lunch Will Be Packed

A great tip I learned from a friend is to suggest that your kids pack lunches as soon as they get home from school. I’ve found if we don’t do this, we’re running around like crazy people five minutes before we need to be in the car in the morning because lunch didn’t get packed. And who wants a stressful morning before school? Not I said the fly! 
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As soon as your kids get home, help them or remind them to clean out their lunchboxes. They may need a tiny break before the packing begins, so attune to what their needs are. Then before dinner or maybe while you’re making dinner, have your kids beside you to pack lunch. 
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What we do once lunch is packed is store it in the fridge inside their lunchboxes if there’s room so it’s quick to grab in the morning. 
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 Lunchbox Food Options
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With the lunch box list, it makes it easy to set rules on how many of each category a child needs. Just as I mention all throughout this blog post on packing school lunches, collaborate with your child so they have choice! 
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Read More: How to Coach Kids Through Struggle in a Neuro-Supportive Way

Purchasing School Lunch 

When our kids used to go to a traditional school and they bought school lunches, we could usually tell in their attitudes and behavior almost immediately. However, for some reason, there are a few food choices that didn’t have the same effect.
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If your kids aren't affected by what the school offers (or if your school is even going to have the cafeteria open), maybe give them the option to buy at least one day a week. None of my kids have an option like this, but sometimes a teacher or parent will order a pizza, so I, of course, am supportive of them participating in pizza day. 
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Requests for the Grocery Store 

Another great tip is to have a board or something in your kitchen that enables your kids to give you requests to add to your grocery list. They may have something (even super duper healthy) they want, but you just never think to purchase it because it’s not something you like. For me, it’s any kind of melon. I do not care for it. Therefore, I never thought to purchase it until my kids requested it quite enthusiastically because they LOVE cantaloupe and watermelon! 
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To take it to another level, you can even have your kids make their own grocery list and go with you to find the best prices on items. We have done this a few times with my homeschooler as part of his school day, and he loves it! 
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In addition to their own grocery trips, we have a command center with a whiteboard. This is where we store a lot of things like routine charts, packing lists, the school lunch list, family values poster, and where we put what we want to talk about at family meetings and what we want to order from the grocery store. 
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We don’t eat food dyes or a lot of processed sugar, but they know not to add items like that to the list…although they do try every once in a while! Instead, they can choose any fruits, vegetables, carbs, or proteins they want for their school lunch.

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A Location For The Lunch Box, Containers, and Food

Make sure everything your child needs to pack his or her own lunch is within reach! Montessori schools do this well. They make sure all the items the kids are going to use can be accessed without needing an adult to help.

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We moved all the containers to a floor-level cabinet and the dried food/snacks on a lower shelf. This also keeps kids safe from having to climb countertops. 

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3. Provide the Materials Needed

What kids pack their lunches in matters.

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With one of our kids, if any food touches or looks “gross," it comes back home with him. Having the right containers and right-sized lunchboxes makes a big difference. 

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However, remember to give your kids control over what they pack their lunch in and how. Here’s another secret, it’s TOTALLY okay if your child packs his or her lunch differently than you would. This is a great area to hand over the control! 

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Your way may be more efficient, but it's vital your child figures out what works best for him or her. Trial and error help kids develop the life-long skills that help build competence. 

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The one thing I do is show my kids what food containers usually work well and what they have available to use.

Items That Work Well for Packed School Lunches

• Water Bottle 
• Lunchbox - I love the lunchboxes that have a water bottle holder on the side and a zipper pocket for notes. 
• Lunch containers 
• Sauce containers
• Paper Towels
• Reusable Cutlery
• Thermos Food Jars (for hot stuff)‍
• Flat Icepacks - Sometimes, my kids will pack a few of the puzzle icepacks so they can build cubes once they're done eating. Always creating.
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In addition to all the items needed to pack lunch, something we have found super helpful is labels! There are many different companies that make dishwasher-safe labels. I bought a ton when my kids were toddlers, and we are still using the same pack with my teen! 

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4. Teach New Skills

With any new skill a child learns, they may need a little help. When we give new responsibilities to our kids without helping or giving expectations, we are setting them up for failure (or at least it will feel like a failure compared to what we expect). 

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Here are the four steps to take in teaching a child to pack his or her own lunch.

First, pack the lunch with him or her watching.

Second, do it together. We did step two for about two weeks before moving on to the third step of watching.

Once I oversaw the lunch packing process and they packed enough food with plenty of variety, they moved onto the last step of doing it themselves. Now and again, I will help or pack for them if something comes up, but for the most part, they take ownership and love having control over what they pack and eat for school lunch. Win-win!

Basic Skills Needed for Packing Lunch

Here are some basic skills that are beneficial for kids to learn to help them be successful lunch packers.

Cutting With A Knife

Our middle child loves to cook, so for his sixth birthday, his aunt and uncle got a knife set that is made for kids in addition to cut-resistant gloves.

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The gloves have been essential in giving him the confidence he needs to cut vegetables and fruits, knowing he won’t get hurt. It has also allowed me to have peace of mind to know he’s not going to cut his hand wide open.

We had to teach him how to properly hold a knife, how to cut certain fruits and vegetables, where to place his “helper hand,” and where to put the knife when he was finished. My youngest also works on these skills at his Montessori school, so it’s nice to continue working on what he’s learning at school.

Microwaving Food

Using a microwave is simple for us adults. For kids, they may need a quick tutorial.

Most importantly, we need to go over what can and CANNOT go into a microwave. Avoiding explosions is a must in our house and probably should be a rule for all.

Packing the Lunch Container

Some kids struggle with visual perception skills, so by showing them what fits in each part, they can get the amount of food they need.

Kids can also work on their fine motor skills when putting the lid on and taking it off, and zipping the lunch box. 

Making food

One of my boys loves the loaded meat, cheese, and sauce, whereas another is more of a pb&j kind of kid. Both involve using different skills. They have also made cracker sandwiches and prepared other food for their school lunches.

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We took the time to show each of them how to make a basic sandwich and how to use a butter knife to spread the sauces, peanut butter, or jelly.

When Your Kids Aren’t Ready to Pack Lunch On Their Own

If you have a child who just doesn't seem like he or she can fully take on this responsibility, start small. Here are some tips on how to do that: 

• Designate a drawer in your fridge and a bin(s) in the pantry for their lunch food items.
• Bag up the items they can pack at the beginning of the week. Have your child HELP with this task. My boys love bagging up popcorn and chips to have in a basket ready to grab during the week. 
• Label how many items they need to grab from the fridge and how many they can from the pantry.
• When it's time to pack the lunch, simply have your child pick what he or she wants from what you prepared and put it in their lunch container or lunch box.

What Kids Should Pack For Lunch

I created a master school lunch food list to make packing lunch super easy. It’s laminated, so we can write on it using dry-erase markers. They can mark their favorites or what we have in the fridge or pantry. Whenever they’re stuck on what to pack, my boys grab the sheet and make sure something from the required categories gets thrown in the lunchbox.
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They are required to have at least one protein, one fruit or veggie, and one carb. What they pack and how much is completely their choice. 
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Here are the main categories of food: 

• Dairy
• Nuts & Seeds
• Sweet Treats
• Protein 
• Fruit 
• Veggies 
• Carbs

Free Download!

This has been so helpful for our family, so I wanted to make it available to you as well. Sign up for our newsletter, The Sunday Spark, and receive your free lunchbox printable!

It’s an exhaustive list of every healthy-ish easy-to-pack food I could think of.

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Happy Packing!

One last reminder, remain patient and remember that your children may fall back to old habits or complain they don't want to pack.

Empathize and stay positive. Give specific ways you have overcome that feeling of dread to help them realize what a special opportunity they have to be self-sufficient.

So, tell me, will these tips help your kids pack their lunch? Or what are your concerns about giving this responsibility to your kids? 

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