Why We Prenda: Walter's Story

I used to be a speech-language pathologist in public schools. I always thought my kids would go to public school, and I’d work in those same schools—waving at them as they headed off to recess or walked to the library. I had this sweet little dream of our lives intersecting in the hallways, complete with school pictures, number 2 pencils, and the sweet sound of sneakers squeaking on lenolium floors from the 70s.

But that "dream" would never come true.

What happened? Walter happened.

But before we get to Walter, we have to go back a bit…

Public School Kids vs Stroke Patients 

After working in the schools for a while I realized a few things.

1. Nobody really wanted to be there. Not the kids, not the teachers.
2. Most of my job was bribing kids to do things they didn't want to do.
3. The more time kids attended school, the less curious, motivated, and interested in learning they seemed.

I decided to make the switch to working in a medical setting as a Speech-language Pathologist. This would mean working with stroke victims who had lost the ability to speak. It was fascinating work, and while my patients obviously still didn't want to be there (in the hospital) they were incredibly motivated to work hard and make progress. They would frequently ask for more "homework" and they were always excited to see me and to do the work- even when it was difficult and even painful.

As I started having children of my own, I reflected on these two very different experiences and often wondered how we could get the same level of motivation, engagement, and willingness I observed in my elderly patients into our schools. This question spurred several years of research into the psychology of motivation and learning science where I discovered some of the reasons why engagement was so low in traditional schools. 

As we continued to grow our little family and the time to send them off to school was fast approaching, I realized that we would likely walk a different path than originally anticipated so that we could preserve and nurture our children's natural love of learning and curiosity.

I started looking into homeschooling and was immediately overwhelmed by the vast number of opinions that existed around what the "best" way to educate young humans was. Words like Montessori, Charlotte Mason, Unschooling, Classical Education, and a litany of other options were swimming in my head (check out our post on homeschooling approaches if you want to learn more). While I was doing my best to make good decisions for my kiddos, I was still not convinced anyone had this figured out. The moms that were applying any of the standard homeschool approaches, were still complaining about the same things I heard my public school friends struggling with. There were benefits to each approach but nothing that seemed to line up with the motivation and learning science research I had discovered. 

Walter Shows Up

Meanwhile, back in parenting land, I had 3 kids 4 and under (and another one on the way in the near future😯). I noticed that my second child, Walter, was really struggling. I was reading all the books and trying to parent him according to modern parenting "best practices" (time outs, consistent consequences, positive reinforcement, etc) and "school" him according to the approach I had chosen, but nothing was working. 

As just a little guy he struggled deeply with negative feelings about himself. If he spilled something, he’d say things like, “You probably don’t want me in your family anymore.” When he made a mistake, he’d suggest we just put him outside. Forever😢.

It was heartbreaking, but I just kept doing the best I could with what I knew at the time. The more structured and strict I was as a parent, the more demoralized and despondent he became. Then one day I got a book in the mail that changed everything. I had no idea who had sent this book and I almost tossed it in the garbage can, but something told me to hang on to it. It was Becky Bailey's Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. After letting it collect a bit of dust on the shelf, one day I picked it up and everything I thought I knew about parenting was turned upside down. 

Instead of talking about how important time-outs and rewards were, this book talked about the needs of the developing brain and how important acceptance, community, and love were to the literal development of the brain's architecture. Having not come from a home where things like "feelings" were ever really discussed (or if they were, it was always in a derogatory sense) I was initially uncomfortable with this approach. Warmth and compassion did not come easily to me and I had worked hard my whole life to hide my feelings 🙄. But there was enough empirical data and neuroscience in this book that my robot heart began to see a different way.

As I started to shift who I was as a parent, my other kids responded beautifully. We did see some initial improvement in Walter’s mindset but he would still beat himself up when it came to learning and none of the homeschooling approaches I was familiar with had any answers. Despite my best efforts to parent in this new, more compassionate way,  I could still see him developing an internal narrative that he somehow wasn’t good enough or smart enough. 

Then Prenda Walked Into Our Lives

It was around that time that I met Kelly Smith, the founder of Prenda. He introduced me to the idea of a “microschool” —a new kind of learning environment designed to help kids feel capable, confident, and connected to their own learning. A place where kids could grow not just academically, but emotionally. Where they could develop a healthy relationship with learning and with themselves.

I immediately saw how this approach would help teachers (smaller class sizes and more freedom), parents (more control and support), and children (more fun, engaging, and personalized), especially kids like Walter. While Prenda wasn’t "fully baked' back then, I decided it was just what we needed. I started helping build out the systems and supports that would soon enable hundreds of other parents, educators, and kids to create learning environments that kept students at the center and would help them develop the skills and mindsets of empowered learners. We were able to apply all the research that was being overlooked in other educational approaches and systems and the results were inspiring. 

That fall, Walter joined a Prenda microschool along with his older brother. And over time, I watched him change. Supported by my best efforts to love, support, and accept him at home, the microschool environment, the influence and mentorship of his guide, and the small community of other learners, Walter's self perception started to shift.

From “I’m the Worst” to “Mistakes Are My Job”

Slowly, Walter began to rewrite the story he had been telling himself.

Instead of punishing himself for every slip-up, he started saying things like, “That’s okay. I’m a kid. It’s my job to make mistakes.” When I would get frustrated with myself, he’d offer comfort: “That’s okay, Mom. You’re doing great—just don’t give up.”

This was not the same child who once thought a dropped glass of water meant he wasn’t lovable. Now he was curious, open, and willing to take risks. The anxiety, the perfectionism, the internal shame— all started to fade.

He was becoming an empowered learner and an all around happier kid.

What If We’d Stuck to the Plan?

I still wonder sometimes—what if we hadn’t found Prenda?

I picture him sitting at a desk, jumping through someone else’s hoops, walking in a straight line with a bubble in his mouth, measuring his worth by his test scores or penmanship. Constantly worried about being “enough,” too afraid to take risks, challenge himself, or think outside the box. What once had been a dream, would have actually been a nightmare—especially for Walter’s unique personality and needs. 

Thanks to Prenda, he’s confident, curious, and constantly looking for ways to grow. He is self-reflective but unashamed when he makes a mistake. He is encouraging and supportive when others struggle. He chooses to learn in his free time and he goes above and beyond expectations in his academics. 

I’m so grateful we found Prenda when we did. It’s been a game changer. 

If you’re interested in microschooling with Prenda, learn more in this video series: “A Parents Guide to Microschooling with Prenda," explore Prenda's learning model, or find a guide near you.

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If you’re interested in starting a microschool that can change the lives of kids like Walter, drop your email in and get immediate access to a free webinar that walks you through how getting started works.

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