Raising Children with a Growth Mindset

A guide for parents and teachers to set their kids up for success in learning and life

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“I can’t do it!” “I’m not smart enough!” “I give up!” At some point, you have likely heard your child or student say these phrases when faced with a challenge. It’s hard to know what to do as a parent or teacher in these moments… Having taught in public, private, charter, and microschool environments. This is a topic of conversation that’s come up time and again with parents of my students. 

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The concept of growth mindset was a complete game-changer for me as a teacher, my students, and their parents. Before I dive in, I will say that effective parenting and teaching isn’t just one set of “rules” to follow or a singular guiding framework. 

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But, what I’m about to share with you is a powerful concept that, when added as a tool in your toolbox, can have a tremendous impact on a child’s experience as a learner. 

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What is growth mindset?

Pioneered by Carol Dweck, a Stanford University professor, Yale Ph.D. graduate, and author of Mindset, “a growth mindset is the belief that intelligence can be developed.” Students with a growth mindset understand that they can get smarter through hard work, the use of effective strategies, and help from others when needed” (The Mindset Scholars Network). 

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For example, a young child with a growth mindset might say, “This math problem is really hard. I don’t know the answer yet, but I will get there. I’m going to try these things and see if I get closer to a solution. I know where to look to learn more about this concept. I can also ask a classmate or my teacher for help to point me in the right direction. Seeking out challenges makes my brain stronger.” The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset: the belief that intelligence is a fixed trait that is set in stone at birth. 

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Saying something like, “I’m just not good at math” is a good example of a fixed mindset statement. When faced with a difficult task, students with a fixed mindset become discouraged. They categorize tasks as “things that I’m good at, and things I just can’t do.” As a result of this mindset, their ability to progress is limited. 

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Why is growth mindset so important?

Let’s face it. Learning is hard! And, at the end of the day, kids are the ones that choose to do the hard work of learning or not. It can’t be forced. 

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They are in the driver’s seat, and the caring adults in their lives are the co-pilots that help guide them, model healthy and helpful behaviors, celebrate them, and assist with course correction when needed. A growth mindset gives us co-pilots an understanding of the brain, intelligence, and learning to help children: 

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• See their potential as limitless
• Become confident problem-solvers
• Set goals and a path to achieve them 
• Develop intrinsic motivation
• Manage feelings of frustration
• Pursue learning challenges with enthusiasm

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Here are some growth mindset strategies YOU can use with your own children:

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Focus on process 

Learning isn’t a means to an end. Point A and Point B on a learning journey are relevant, but the real magic of learning is found between those two points. Emphasize process and perseverance by celebrating a child’s work in progress. This way, they can see how work evolves with effort and feedback. Help kids create SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) goals to chart the stages of a project. 

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Discuss the progress that can be seen from step to step as a project develops, and create opportunities for reflection. At what points were mistakes made? What lessons were learned? How did their skills improve over time? 

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Talk-up effort and strategy 

Effort and strategy are combined here for a reason. Sheer effort doesn’t always lead to the desired outcome. That’s where strategy comes in. When a child is giving the effort, but using an ineffective strategy, prompt them to use another strategy instead of praising the effort from the get-go. Then, celebrate the use of multiple strategies and perseverance. Why not praise effort alone? If a child is using one strategy to no success, but putting in a ton of effort, frustration sets in. Learning to approach a problem one way, consider its effectiveness, and know when to shift is the most important skill. 

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So, when they’re stuck on a high-effort path with a strategy that isn’t working, suggest that they step back and try something else. When they do, celebrate that choice. If you continue to prompt them to try a strategy, tinker with it, assess its effectiveness, try something else, and eventually find one that works, they’ll learn to do this on their own. 

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Use Growth Mindset Language 

Language is an incredibly powerful tool! With this strategy, you’re accomplishing two things: 

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1. Practicing effective communication skills. Among other things, you’re giving kids the vocabulary to help them name their feelings, ask for help when needed, state the problem at hand and their plan to approach it. 

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2. Supporting the development of a strong sense of self. Every interaction is an opportunity to help children view themselves as confident, capable, and valued. Using language that reinforces a positive self-concept helps children with this. 

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Here are some examples of growth mindset language: 

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“I can see that you’re frustrated. You’ve been working really hard to sound out this word. Let’s take a quick brain break, and then come up with a list of strategies you can use to figure it out.” 

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“I noticed that you kept trying even though this was really challenging for you. You reviewed that lesson in your textbook, looked up some examples online, and did an awesome job of checking your work to find the mistake and correct your work.” 

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“When you’re learning something new, it can be difficult. Looking at your work this week, I can see how you’ve improved each day. Your brain is getting stronger.” 

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“You can train your brain to do this!” 

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“Choose another strategy and try again.” 

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“Mistakes help you learn.”

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The Struggle is Good 

When we are actively engaged in problem-solving our brains literally light up. The brain is working hard—recalling prior learning, analyzing the task at hand, and determining a plan of action. Learning is happening! When a challenge is presented to a learner with a fixed mindset, who sees the task as impossible or outside of their scope of intelligence, shut-down happens. Without engagement, learning can’t take place.

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How can you help a child who shut-downs? 

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• Take breaks when children reach an unhelpful frustration level. Help them self-regulate by providing a few brain break options: drawing, going on a walk, deep breathing, or another activity they enjoy. Then revisit the task, reflect on what caused feelings of frustration, and help them come up with a set of strategies to try—a plan of action. 

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• Assess the situation. Kids should be engaging in tasks that are at their learning frontier. This is that sweet spot between learning that is too easy and too hard. If they’re struggling because the task is well beyond their learning frontier, present them with a slightly less intimidating task to set them up for success. 

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• Teach kids that when you put effort towards a task and struggle, you are building connections in your brain. Your brain is getting stronger! Portray challenges as fun and exciting, and frame easy tasks as boring and less useful for the brain. 

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Model Growth Mindset 

Now that you are familiar with growth mindset, it’s time to take your learning to the next level. As you begin to model growth mindset, your children will benefit greatly simply by observing you. 

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Read Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset, listen to her Ted Talks, and explore the countless resources available online. 

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Looking for an engaging, small-group learning environment for your child? 

At Prenda, we are passionate about growth mindset and have seen how influential this framework can be on a child’s academic achievement and social-emotional development. We invite you to learn more today here